Mark David Belanger

 August 29, 1960 - January 30, 2023

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    *I remember my first day of kindergarten. It was also the first time riding on a bus. I was living with my Gramma, and the bus stop was only about thirty feet from her driveway. Reluctantly, I got on. After school, everyone got dropped off except me. As the bus driver drove me around, he kept saying, "Where's your stop kid?". I said, "At my grandma's house". He drove around and passed the house several times before I saw it. Excitedly, I said, "There's my Grandma's house!". "I can't let you off just anywhere kid" he told me. "But that's where I live!" I cried. Since he didn't know me, he drove me back to the school, which was only two blocks from my house, but it was a "world" away to me. Then he left me on the bus, all by myself, while he went to inform the office that I was 'lost'. I sat on the bus for about 30 minutes, alone, when I saw my babysitter walking up. When she saw me, though embarrassed, I was so relieved that I was "rescued". I was definitely not looking forward to my second day.
    *I thought I caused my myopia by looking at the city lights at night while crossing my eyes. The lights looked like round fuzzy balls when I did that, and I thought it was looked cool. Turns out, it's hereditary, or it just happens to some people.
    *I thought parents stayed up all night. They would tuck me in bed, and when I'd wake up they would already be up, drinking their coffee and reading the news paper. I remember the first time I got up in the middle of the night and found the house dark and them sleeping. It was such a shock...
    *I was always afraid I'd have to go off to war when I grew up, like my dad did.
    *I thought gasoline made cars go FASTER because every time one would leave a gas station, they would pass us up on the freeway.
    *I thought a "Coin Laundry" was where people went to wash their money.
    *I thought girls automatically had babies at a certain age and that sex had nothing to do with it.
    *One time I asked my Grandma for a glass of water. She said, "Do you want ice water or plain water?". I thought she meant "plane" water and that if I drank it, I could fly! I was really disappointed when she got it from the tap!
    *When I was around 2 years old, my parents got me a little brown puppy. I'm told I was scared to death of it. When they asked what I wanted to name it, all I would say is "It's chocolate!". So that became his name. I don't know what became of him but if I still had him, he would be about 357 years old in "dog years" now.
    *One day I saw a shopping cart near our house and wanted to play with it. I laid in the bottom of the cart, pretending I was a "snail". I was pulling myself along the sidewalk with my hands until the front wheels ran over my fingers! Yeah, it's no wonder snails don't have fingers!
    *One time I went out back to play while it was still light. After it got dark, the shrub I passed by earlier looked like a giant 7-ft tall rooster! My Gramma could see me in the yard as I cried for her to come get me. She never knew what it was I thought I saw!
    *I thought a car's tire would pop if it ran over a lit cigarette.
    *I thought parents had an endless supply of money.
    *After I found out about Santa, I thought parents did ALL the Christmas shopping only on Christmas Eve around midnight.
    *My brother and I were horsing around after bedtime. After repeated warnings, my dad came in to spank us. He said, "I'm sorry I have to do this boys". I told my brother that nobody tells our dad what to do besides his boss, so his boss must've told him spank us! We hated our dad's boss!
    *I thought that the brake lights on the cars in front of us meant that there was a red stop light ahead. And I wondered why their brake lights didn't turn green when the light changed.
    *On one of our many road-trips across the country, we stopped at a road-side fruit stand, where we bought peaches. For some reason, all of us kids would rub the peaches on our faces only to have Grandma scrub our faces to get the peach fuzz off. It hurt SO bad!
    *On another road-trip thru Georgia, we stopped at a peanut farm to pick some peanuts. They were raw, wet & still on the vine and totally GROSS!   

     *I got caught lighting a whole book of matches in the bathroom once. I couldn't, for the life of me, figure out how anyone could know!
    *Growing up on military bases, I thought all medical care was free. I couldn't believe people actually had to pay to see a doctor!
    *One day, my Grandma came home from work to find the house in total disarray and chaos amongst the seven of us, including my uncle Donald, who, by the way, was the same age as my second to the oldest sister. She was very angry and instructed all of us to go out and pick a switch. Being the 3rd youngest of the seven kids, I had no idea why she wanted switches. I wanted to make her proud of me, so I found the biggest,longest switch I could find, it was almost a branch! Fortunately, for all of us, Uncle Donald brought back this tiny toothpick size twig! Grandma laughed so hard that nobody got into trouble!
    *I thought the smoke from a train's smokestack would break off when it went into a tunnel.
    *I used to call our car's turn signals "eek-ohs" because that was the sound they made when they blinked.
    *One day, my dad and I were watching a stock car race on TV. I said, "Dad, how come some of the cars don't catch on fire when they crash?". He said, "Well, they use flame-proof gas". I said, "Oh, I see... Wait.. What?" He laughed!
    *I would lie in bed, looking up out the window, and see the top of the telephone pole against the backdrop of the clouds moving by while an unseen airplane flew over (they were a lot louder back then). It looked, and sounded like the telephone pole was falling on the house! It was scary to me...
     *My mattress had these prints of buffalo being chased by Indians on horseback, their bows drawn to shoot them in the back. It used to give me nightmares.

     *I was laying in bed one afternoon when a 2-by-4 came flying thru the window, showering me with glass. My little sister, Diane, told my babysitter that some kid on a bike threw it through the window and rode away. I figured he was the culprit. About 15 years later, as I was recounting the story to Diane, she started laughing. That's when I found out she was the one who threw it through my window...
    *When I was 9, I had to run back to my classroom to get my lunch. As I went back out, I jumped & swung under the railing of the steps leading up to the door. The wooden planks of the steps were split & as I swung, the seat of my pants snagged a large splinter & peeled it up, breaking it off. When I hit the ground, I saw that I had a 12-inch long, 1-inch wide (and coming to a point) piece of wood stabbed into my left butt cheek! It went in almost an inch deep but it didn't bleed. I had to limp to the restroom but I didn't want anyone to see this "spear" sticking out of my butt! So, I broke it off at my pants. Once in the restroom, I realized that I couldn't pull the rest of it out. When my underwear would snag on it, it hurt like hell. I never told anyone about it and I had to sit a certain way in a chair for it not to hurt. Every once in awhile, I'd kinda "play" with it to see if I could get the piece out. I couldn't. Over the next six years, it just became smaller & smaller until, one day, it was just gone.
     *One day, I wanted to make some popcorn. I put some cooking oil in the pot, then poured in the kernels. But I noticed they were sticking to the pan. I thought "That's not good. If they don't move, they'll burn!" So, I wiped the pot clean and poured them in again. I could hear them rolling around in the pot as I shook it on the burner. "Much better", I thought. I thought wrong! I had to throw the popcorn away, pot and all!
    *I thought I could "trick" someone by acting like I dart away real fast and when the "dust cloud" cleared, I'd still be standing there. Dumb cartoons!
     *When I was 7-yrs old, I was in the hospital with a hernia. The highlight of any day was when my mom would come visit me. There was a playroom at the end of the hall with a window. I would stand there for hours and watch for her to come. I knew that she never even came down that road but it was the only window I was tall enough to see out of.
     *I first thought on St. Patrick's day, if you had green on, you WOULD get pinched so I took off all my green. Big mistake.
    *Once, while sitting at the table, I picked up the pepper shaker. I wanted to see if I'd sneeze if I sniffed pepper. I took a big whiff & freaked out, crying, coughing & gagging! My Grandma could not understand why I'd do such a dumb thing (I was literally speechless)! The people in the cartoons would just sneeze! Stupid cartoons!
    *A few years later, after we got a new dishwasher, I grabbed the box of Cascade dishwasher detergent. The box said, "Fresh, Clean Scent". I wanted to see for myself so I opened the pour-spout and took a big whiff. It was a new box & the stuff was at the very top of the spout (which I failed to notice). Again, it wasn't a very happy moment!
    *One day, I saw a very obese woman on a TV show. Later, that day, while my mom and I were at the store, I yelled, "Ooohh, Look, Mom! A FAT LADY!!" I thought my mom was gonna die of embarrassment! She could not get me outta there fast enough!
    *I once opened the fridge and saw a can with some white stuff in it that I thought was frosting. So, I grabbed a big spoon and ate a mouthful. It turned out to be Crisco shortening! Ewww!
    *I had always heard the expression, "What do you have in mind?" I thought it went, "What do you have in MINE?" One day, I asked someone, "What do you have in yours?" They said, "In my what?" I had no idea.
     *I'd call girls "gills". The word "girl" just didn't sound right when I said it.
    *I always wished I could "live at Disneyland". How cool would that be, right? Then, on one of our trips there, I got separated from my dad & my brother. I was lost. And I was TERRIFIED! I was held by security near Mr. Toad's Wild Ride until I saw my dad and my brother walk by. I was SO relieved to see my family! I didn't want to "live at Disneyland" so much after that!)
     *When I was 4 years old, my mom took me Trick-or-Treating. One house had a big box in the driveway with a bowl of candy sitting on a small table. The box was shaking with a "monster" grunting & growling inside. I was scared. My mom finally talked me into going up & getting some candy from the bowl. As I reached into the bowl, a big, green hand reached out from under the table & grabbed my ankle. I screamed, and the candy in my bag flew EVERYWHERE, and I peed my costume! It took a long time for me to forgive my mom!
    *When I was in the 3rd grade, my class have story time. As my teacher sat in her chair, with the class in a semi-circle in front of her, directly behind her, hanging on the wall, was a long, wooden pointer with a black, rubber tip. As I sat on the floor in front of her, I could see the black tip poking down, just below the bottom edge of her chair. It looked a lot like a small turd hanging down from her butt! It was really hard to concentrate on the story she was telling...
    *I would wake up at night to go potty and see the shirt & pants my dad was going to wear the next day hanging from his doorknob, at the end of the hallway. It looked like a very short, but very wide, man standing there. It was scary! The bathroom door was only a few feet from my bedroom. So, I'd just hold it until the morning (if I could, that is).
    *I thought girls had kooties. (That turned out to be true.)